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Can You Hear Me Now?! December 14, 2008

Posted by tetrahedron in Uncategorized.
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What’d I tell ya!!! As this century progresses, we’re bound to see the first Hispanic-American president, the first Asian-American president, the first indigenous-disabled-transgender-atheist-undocumented-communist president and who knows what other proud breakthroughs lie ahead for the land of the free and home of the brave? Maybe we’ll cut emissions by 2-3%, the minimum wage will rise by at least 25 cents, and being a loyal American consumer will be so much easier when that national ID card becomes mandatory.

What’s that you say? 10,000 gallons of gasoline are burned in the US every second? We’re losing 200,000 acres of rain forest every 24 hours? 2.2 billion pounds of pesticides are used by Americans each year? 100 plant or animal species go extinct each day? 81 tons of mercury are emitted into the atmosphere each year as a result of electric power generation? Every square mile of ocean hosts 46,000 pieces of floating plastic? 13 million tons of toxic chemicals released across the globe each and every day? 70,000 new chemical compounds have been invented and dispersed into our environment since 1950? There will be no glaciers left in Glacier National Park by 2030? The Arctic region expected to have its first completely ice-free summer in 2040? Coastal glaciers in Greenland thinning by 3 feet per year? 90% of the large fish in the ocean are already gone? 80% of the world’s forests are already gone? Every few seconds, a human being starves to death and 29,158 children under the age of five die from preventable causes every single day.

 Don’t bum me out,  with your pessimistic stats and unconstructive attitude. You’re full of bad news but you never offer a solution. You have no plan. We have a plan—a plan that comes equipped with its own soaring oratory, a plan named Barack Obama. Besides, it’s always best to focus on the positive and not dwell in gloom and doom. How else can we maintain the hope we need to make a difference? How else can we each become the change we wish to see in the world? How else can we justify our Obama worship? 

Before we get to 2076, first things first: Hail Obama, our brilliant, articulate, eloquent, Black man, savior and prince.

Well,  maybe St. Barack is a bit more progressive than we imagined, but you have to admit he’s brilliant, articulate and part-white. And hey! folks, he’s not even in office yet. Give the brother a chance. Once he’s been inaugurated, we’ll hold his feet to the fire and make real progress. We’ll get permits to hold weekend protests (with none of those nasty anarchists invited) and we’ll give voice to the voiceless…in our designated free speech zones, of course. President Obama will hear us, I’m sure. He’ll bring validation to bi-partisanship… After all, you can’t tell me you didn’t shed a tear when you saw all those young people celebrating in the streets. The youth have spoken! The future has arrived! Bushit is dead!!! power to the people.  Lift every voice and sing, Let’s rejoice!!! Let’s sing along with Ani DiFranco’s amazing new song, “Yes We Can”!!!

In fact, I’m willing to go out on a limb right now and boldly predict that by the years end of  2010, the number of US combat troops in Iraq will have dwindled by at least 15-20%. To those who want more, I ask: We can’t expect Obama to simply withdraw those brave, heroic,  superhuman men and women in one day, now can we? No way, not now or never, no cut and run no! no! no! not America. (And remember: we wouldn’t be in this mess if that damn egotistical Katherine Harris and that other Bushit…UUUh! Jeb. (and let’s not forget the American people that voted for 43) and Ralph Nader…. ruined everything in 2000. Nader should be investigated and not be allowed to run, and there needs to be criminal charges brought against all those involved, Make it illegal… I say none of them should be allowed to participate in the democratic process ever.

At least Obama is forming a strong centrist coalition. “A team of rivals,” they say. Some may nitpick and point out that every single appointee is a Washington retread who supported the war and could’ve just as easily been chosen by John McCain had he won, but Obama is clearly in charge and he’s brilliant. He makes the decisions, and he’s so articulate. He promised hope and change and, being that he’s so eloquent, I’m positive he will deliver. It would be negative, bitter, and cynical to think otherwise. In fact, anyone not thrilled with the historic election of a black man that came out of the womb of a white woman should not be allowed to breathe our precious oxygen.

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